Getting Started with Shibari

It's no secret that here at Kinkerbox we love Shibari, But we know getting started with shibari can feel very un-nerving ... and where do you even start??

 

We don't have all the answers ... but we can share some hints, tips and links to other resources that you might find useful.

 

The first thing to learn is a little terminology (as this will make the rest much easier to understand!). Shibari requires two people ... the person who is doing the tying and the person who is being tied. The one doing the tying is commonly referred to as either the 'Rigger', or the 'Top' (We'll go with Rigger).

 

The person being tied is often called a 'Rope Bunny', 'Bottom', or 'Model' (We'll go with Model).

 

You'll need to establish which role you want to do; rigger, model or switch - where you've guessed it both you and your partner switch between the roles. You may find you only want to rig or model, if you practise Shibari with multiple partners you might like different roles in different partnerships ... there really are no rules ... well except for these below ...

 

A few rules you need to consider when starting ...

 

1) Consent is, as always, THE most important thing. And remember consent isn't a one time thing, establish what both partners do and don't want to do each time, and Riggers you'll need to check in with your model throughout the experience to check they are still happy to continue. Both from a consent perspective, and a comfort perspective.

 

2) Communication is key. Maintain communication throughout your practise, riggers check the comfort of your model, check the pressure from the ropes, check they feel good to continue. Never use a gag whilst practising Shibari - a gag stops this flow of communication.

 

3) Don't do Shibari drunk, you both should always be awake, aware and sober. As a rigger you need to notice any signs of discomfort - you have your models life quite literally in your hands. And as a model, being restrained in unusual positions (and when you advance being suspended) can cause strain on the body and this doesn't mix with alcohol.

 

4) Keep some scissors to hand incase you need to cut through rope in emergency

 

5) Be aware of the risks of nerve damage and take precautions to avoid. The areas to avoid in the arm are the thumb running up to the wrist, and the upper arm, the radial nerve is close to the surface at the back of your arm about half way up - avoid this area when tying (you can go higher or lower). The best examples we've seen illustrating this is from the wonderful people at Anatomie Studios and can be found here: Avoiding Nerve Damage

 

6) Stick to 15-20 minute sessions to avoid any loss of circulation. Riggers you need to watch your model, if there skin goes red it's likely due to a restriction in blood flow in veins - and for a short time and as long as your model is comfortable this is fine. Be more cautious if the skin goes pale, this is likely to be a restriction in blood flow in arteries. 

 

7) Be aware of a loss of sensation in parts of the body, fingertips for example. This is likely to be due to circulation, but it can also be caused by compressing a nerve - and nerve compression can lead to nerve damage. Other symptoms of nerve damage can (but wont always) include tingling or burning, numbness, loss of mobility of a body part. If in doubt untie. The onus of responsibility is on both riggers to be aware and check on models, and models to communicate to riggers. Learn as much as you can about nerves and risks before starting, here is a good resource from Rope 101: Nerves & Circulation

 

So, still reading? Good! You shouldn't be scared off, but you should understand the risks and take safety seriously! So now, lets talk about how you bloomin' do the fun stuff shall we?

 

So Rope, at Kinkerbox we use 10m quality jute ropes. Why jute? Quite simply because they never stretch. Please never use a regular rope for shibari, the stretch in cottom ropes can make knots impossible to untie, and you have less control over tightness on your model. Always double up your rope, so your 10m rope equals 5m of material to play with (and then you add another rope on).

 

So, where to start? The single and double column ties. 

 

The single column tie is a way to tie a rope around, you've guessed it, a single column ... such as an arm, a waist, legs, a bedpost, a loop in the ceiling. It's simple (once you've done it a few times) and it looks elegant and aesthetics are super important in Shibari - it's an art form! 

 

The double column tie does what you might expect and ties two columns together, arms or legs. It's similar, so learn the single column first and then move to a double.

 

Check out these instructions for practising the single and double column ties:

 

Step by Step Guide by The Duchy

Step by Step Guide and Videos by Autostraddle

 

Once you've got the column ties sorted you'll need to learn how to tie an extra rope - because 10m really doesn't go very far! Good news it this bit is super simple. The Larks Head knot. Allows you to easily add a new rope on. Here's the best example we've spotted from rope connections ...

 

Extending your rope by Rope Connections

 

So where does the sexual or sensual part come in?

 

The act of tying can be very sensual for both Rigger and Model. It's initmate, it involves trust and communication. It also involves closeness, as the Rigger wraps the rope, and threads the rope to make knots, bodies can brush, breath can be felt, fingers trace the lines of the rope on the body as they even out the pattern and paying attention to the skin underneath. For the model the sensation of pressure of the rope and the pulling of arms and legs can be arousing as you feel yourself giving control over to your rigger.

 

What position shall I tie my model in first?

 

Poses can be either open or closed. Consider your models arms - you can tie them closed in front of the models chest, of open - behind the back or above the head. Playing with arm ties and chest harnesses are a great way to start.

 

The same with legs.tie legs together, or tie a single leg folded at the knee ... just don't even think of suspension until you realllllllly know what you're doing.

 

If you are interested in exploring Shibari more - make sure you update your Kinkerbox profile so we know to help select you items to build your collection as your experience and skills grow. But also check out further information from some of these awesome people we admire:

Anatomie Studios London

Rope Connections

The Duchy